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Reading
Group Guide
The following list of questions is designed to
enhance a group or individual's thinking
about or discussing some of the issues we hope you will consider
after reading this book. This is
designed as a starting point only and is not meant to limit the
discussion.
Chapter 1
- How can you evaluate the relationship between black and white
women in America today? Black and Latina women? Protestant and
Jewish women? How does our shared faith in Jesus Christ (or God)
help ease the differences between us or help erase the memories
of what has taken place in the past between us
- What has been your most painful encounter with a woman from
another racial/ethnic background? Were your differences related
to your ethnic/racial backgrounds, or were they economic or political
in nature? Or were they simply differences of personalities? How,
if at all, did the two of you resolve your differences? What has
been your most positive encounter with another woman from a different
background?
- In what ways can women from differing ethnic/racial/national/
economic background bind together and significantly impact global
politics and religious controversies?
- Is the relationship between a domestic and her employer necessarily
hostile? How do the dynamics of the relationship changed when
the domestic and her employer are the same race and / or age?
- What examples can you point to that have made you aware of the
economic differences between you and other women? Have these differences
concerned you, and if so, how do you deal with them
- Examine the divine appearance to Hagar the two times she was
in the wilderness (Genesis 16 and 21). In the final analysis did
Hagar ever receive a blessing from God, and if so, how? Was she
ever vindicated, and if so, how? Is vindication important?
- In the case of surrogate mothering (where one woman pays another
woman to have another child for her, and the biological mother
renounces all right to the child she bears) what are the Christian
considerations? What, at present, is our counsel to women who
are unable to bear children?
- What are our responsibilities as women to our brothers and our
sons who take no responsibilities for the children they have sired?
As wives whose husbands may have children by other women, what
are responsibilities to our husbands' other family? How do you
feel about these responsibilities?
Chapter 2
- What does friendship mean to you? What kind of women attracts
you as friends? What kind of women do you avoid?
- What other stories in the Bible which portray friendships between
women are most meaningful to you? What makes these stories important
to you?
- What stories in the Bible portray friendship between men are
most meaningful to you? Are there friendships between men whom
you know which are similar to the friendship described in the
Bible? In what ways, if at all, do friendships between men differ
from friendships between women?
- Have you ever had a friendship with another woman, which approximated
Ruth and Naomi's story, a friendship where the two of you saw
each other through a lot of good and bad times, and still remained
friends? What was your friendship like?
- Have you ever taken advantage of a friendship? Have you ever
felt that your friendship was being taken advantage of? What has
your experience been in these situations?
- Have you ever been in a very close relationship with a woman
that changed significantly when one of you married? What happened?
- What kind of ministry, if any, does your church have to help
women (and m in their emotional, financial, and emotional transition
form marriage to widowhood? What type of behavior between a mother
and daughter-in-law might prevent the kind of close relationship
which Ruth and Naomi shared? What might contribute to their closeness?
Chapter 3 - Questions for Thought
- How would you evaluate the relationship between Mary and Martha?
Was one sister more at fault than the other? In what ways? Which
sister do you most like?
- In what way(s), if at all, does Jesus' response to Martha's
complaint alleviate or add to the tensions already evident between
the sisters?
- Is sibling rivalry inevitable among children? How can parents
best respond to and negotiate the jealously, insecurities, and
competitions that arise among siblings for parents' attention
and affections?
- What are the ways in which you and your own sister(s) are similar?
How are you different? How have your differences been helpful
in your growth? In what ways do your differences compliment one
another?
- What are your personal values concerning "serving" versus "learning"
as seen in the story of Martha and Mary? How/where do the Martha
and Mary parts of yourself conflict? Which side of your Mary and
Martha sides needs more nurturing and developing?
- With the influx of women into ordained ministry, how has the
role and importance of traditional female leadership and participation
in the church (missionaries, elders, deaconesses, stewardesses,
etc.) changed? In what ways can women in ordained ministry help
and support these traditional organizations? In what ways clergy
and lay women mutually support each other's contributions in the
church?
- What role have media played in shaping our image of domesticity
and housework? More specifically, in what ways do advertisement
and commercials influence and manipulate our consumer habits of
women? What are some of what one might think of as classic commercials,
which have played an important role in impacting our images of
ourselves? To what extent have the media's portrayal of women
shaped your view of yourself?
- Do you think mothers and wives should be financially compensated
for doing housework, especially those that do not work outside
the home? What kind of remuneration would you propose, if any?
Chapter 4
- How many women do you personally know (including yourself) who
have been victims of male violence and brutality (which includes
anything form the casual slaps to being mugged, from threats to
verbal violence; from being beaten to being raped)?
- If you have a friend whom you suspect has been beaten, what
would you do: Pretend not to notice and wait for her to bring
the subject up? Inquire about her bruises? Slip a note in her
pocket or on her desk with the name and number of the local women's
shelter, rather than confront her directly?
- Have you ever been physically assaulted by someone you loved
and trust? If you answer positively to this question, what do
you wish someone had told or offered you at the time? If being
physically abused is not part of your past, and yet you are able
to put yourself in the shoes of women for whom it is real, what
do you think you'd want someone to do or say to you in the midst
of such an experience?
- What is the name of the local shelter for abused women in your
city? What is the procedure for getting women into that shelter?
- How can your local women's guild, missionary of church auxiliary
help to provide aid to women in your church who are the victims
of relationship violence?
- If you have the opportunity to meet with other women, break
up into small study groups and assign each group one of the stories
in the Bible of women who were victimized by violence?
-Tamar (II Samuel 13:1-22)
-The concubine (Judges 19:1-30)
-Dinah (Genesis 34)
-Gomer (Hosea 2: 1-23)
-The adulterous women (John 8: 3-11)
Discuss the following: What is the story of the women's victimization
in the passage? What role does her victimization play within the
larger drama? Discuss whether the women's victimization was "worth"
the lesson at issue in the chapter.
- Take a test: Monitor your TV programming for the next week to
see how many programs revolve around the story of violence against
women. Even if violence against a woman is not the central plotline,
how many programs include this kind of violence to "help" the
plot along? Organize your church affiliated women's organization
to write the network. Include as many members' name in the petition
as possible both male and female.
Chapter 5
- Reflect upon your initial reactions to the women your brothers
or sons brought home as dates and eventually their wives. Be honest.
Were there ever times when you were envious of the women in your
brothers' (or sons) lives? In what ways were your feelings expressed
in your relationship with your sisters-in-law (or daughters-in-law)?
- How has the leadership role of women in the church changed over
the last twenty years? Are those changes positive or negative?
Evaluate the positive and negative ways in which the Women's Movement
in the larger society has affected, both positively and negatively,
Christian women's views of themselves and their understanding
of the Bible.
- As Christian women, what are our responsibilities to the Miriams
the talented but burned out, frustrated woman in our church
who may feel overworked, abused, and underappreciated for her
sacrifices for Christian work members of our boards, circles,
and societies? Remember: For all her faults, Miriam was talented
and gifted woman.
- What are some of the ways in which people in positions of power
and/or influence in the church can, and sometimes do, exploit
their power and influence in order to manipulate public opinion
and undermine leadership? How can we prevent this?
- As a sister of the leader of the Hebrews, was Miriam's intimate
relationship with Moses a good one? Do you think her gifts were
being used in the best possible ay in that role and relationship?
- When power is concentrated in the hands of a few members of
the church, or in a particular family within a church, consider
the impact this has on the life and ministry of the church.
- What other lessons can family members learn from the story of
discord between Miriam and Aaron, on the one hand, their brother
Moses and his wife, on the other?
- Moses' intervention on her sister's behalf raises the issue
of the importance of intercessory prayer within the families.
What experiences have you had with the effectiveness of intercessory
prayer in healing family conflicts?
Chapter 6
- Are you apart of, or do you know of, ways in which Christian's
women collectively support and finance the work of their local
and national church beyond what they might be able to do individually.
- More and more women are choosing professions which, in the past,
have been dominated by men, whether it's in the field of law,
construction work, medicine, ministry, aviation, the military,
etc. What do you imagine are the disadvantage and advantages of
being "the firs womant" or "only woman" in a profession or in
an office dominated by men?
- How might the account of Jesus' ministry and teachings been
written differently had one of the female disciples written it?
- What other examples in the history can you think of where women's
contribution have been overshadowed or ignored, whether in the
church or the larger society?
- How have women and men's views on marriage changed over the
years? Which changes have been positive? What changes still need
to take place?
- In a marriage where one of the partners travels considerably
with his or her job, what stresses and strains might the absence
place upon the marriage or the family? When the traveling partner
is the wife, do the problems become more acute? In what ways can
the church help families in these situations?
- Why are women often those in our culture who feel pressure to
choose between a family and a career, those most often who devote
lots of energy to trying to strike a balance between the two?
Do you think it is possible to be successful at both? What are
the tensions for a woman at work for women juggling career and
a family? Are they any different from the pressure men feel?
- The Bible often speak of people with mental and emotional illness
as being demon possessed. Talk about how such a label has helped
or hindered Christians in their understanding of mental/emotional
illness? As Christians, how can we better minister to those who
suffer from mental and emotional illnesses?
Chapter 7
- Was refusing her husband's request to dance barely clad before
his guest the only way Queen Vashti should have responded to her
husband? Are there a way to appear less uncompromising and defiant
when faced with a insulting request, a respond that might have
saved her crown?
- Do you imagine that men who have been married more than once
make better husbands? If so, in what ways?
- How do you feel when women who are married to men of importance
are accorded certain privileges (special leadership posts, priority
seating, and the like) simply on the basis of their marriage?
For example, wives of presidents, pastors, politicians, athletes?
- Evaluate the pros and cons of using terms such as "First Lady"
and "Queen of the Church" as titles for wives of pastors and other
women of renown in the church.
- Is there opportunity in your church to honor the ordinary women
and men who have made important contributions to the life and
ministry of the church?
- Strangely enough, widows of famous men rarely remarry. How do
you think their live fulfill them so that remarriage is less of
a necessity? For those widows interested in remarriage, what kind
of society pressure do you think make remarriage difficult?
- For the wife of a pastor who prefers to live a private life,
which means abstaining from any active participation in the church,
how can we as women in the church not infringe upon her right
to choose to live so?
- As a divorcee and the ex-wife of a public figure and a woman
banished to what was, in all likelihood, a remote part of the
kingdom, what kind of adjustments do you imagine Queen Vashti
had to make to her new situation?
- Is there a ministry to divorcees in your church? What kind of
hardship do you suppose that divorced women, particularly those
women who find themselves divorced after many years of marriage,
experience? How can the church minister to its divorced membership?
Chapter 8
- How old is a woman when she is "too old to have a child"? Consider
this question from both biological and cultural point of view.
What are the emotional and physical problems of having a child
when one is significantly older than the norm?
- Do you know women who have not had children? What are society's
attitudes towards these women? How do they feel about themselves?
Consider the many ways in which women without children, and women
past their childbearing years, may fulfill their desire to nurture
children.
- What are the problems young couples face when they enter into
their marriages with a child on the way?
- One of the women in your church has lost her bid for a position
of great responsibility in the church. You have noticed that her
attitude has grown bitter and disagreeable since the election.
She is particularly bitter toward the woman who was elected, and
she goes out of her way to undermine the woman's leadership. If
she was your friend, how would you approach her about her behavior?
If, however, you are the woman who was elected, how would you
handle this woman's attitude and behavior toward you?
- In a society like our own which is distinguished by its obsession
with competitiveness, in what ways can women prevent competitive
behavior from destroying relationships? What id the difference
competing and striving towards excellence?
- We all feel envy at times. How can we keep it under control
and prevent it from driving us to destructive behavior?
Chapter 9
- Reflect on the feelings you had as you read this story. What
emotions were most strongly evoked in you?
- Reflect on your relationship with your own mother. With what
part of this mother's story can you identify in your relationship
with your mother? Which parts are most unlike your relationship?
What is your fond memory of your time with your mother? What is
your most unpleasant memory of your time with one another? Have
the two of you ever discussed these incidents? If not, what keeps
(or kept) you from sharing your memories?
- Reflect on your relationship with your own daughter(s). With
what part of this mother story can you identify in your relationship
with your daughter(s)? Which parts are most unlike your relationship?
What is your greatest wish for your daughter(s)? What is your
greatest fear for your daughter(s)? In what ways are you and your
daughter(s) alike and unlike?
- If you had to do it over again, what as a mother would you do
differently in rearing your daughter(s)
- If you had a choice in the matter, would you choose your mother
to be your mother? If not, whom have you met who epitomize the
kind of woman you would choose to be your mother?
- Name one of your favor mother-daughter movies or books? Explain
your choice.
- In what ways, if any, do relationships between daughters and
mothers differ form those between daughters and fathers?
- Do you know anyone whether due to illness or any other reason
who is unable to show love? What is the nature of your relationship
with that person? What are some of the ways in which we communicate
love and caring to someone absorbed in his/her own pain?
- More times than we care to admit, we observe members of our
churches, communities, and circle of friends gradually unravel
emotionally before our eyes. How can we support them and their
families through such crises? What are the institutional resources
that are available within your church or community that can help
treat people in emotional and mental crises?
- Why do women, in your opinion, make up a greater proportion
of those diagnosed as mentally and/ or emotionally ill in this
country? What are the signs that someone is headed toward a nervous
collapse?
- How much do you know about mental illness? How can you and your
religious community become more sensitive and responsive to those
in your community who suffer from mental illness?
Chapter 10
- Name some instances in history when women's ability to work
toward a common goal, where in building alliances across social,
racial, economic, and religious differences, resulted in major
legislation affecting the lives of women and girls,
- Is it impossible, do you think, for women to work together toward
common goals without conflict, negative politics arising, and
petty jealousies flaring up? Explain why or why not?
- Use the story of Zelophehad's daughters to talk about the ways
in which difference in backgrounds and personalities can be assets
in building an organization. What did it take for women as different
as these five sisters to accomplish the kind of unity, respect,
devotion, and mutual support they exhibited before the rulers?
- Talk about what work means to you, What has work taught you
about yourself, about God, about God's purpose for you?
- What does the story of Zelophehad's daughter teach us about
women and money, about owning property, investing, budgeting,
and planning for one's future as a woman.
- What do people mean, you think, when they say that we have to
learn how to trust God with our money? How do you trust God when
you have little or no money? What do you have to trust God for
when money is not a worry in your life?
- Discuss the story's emphasis upon land, real estate, and property
as a sign of God's favor upon God's people during the times of
Mahlah, Noah, Hoglah, Milcah, and Tirzah.
- Laws having to do with women have come a long way since the
days of Zelophehad's daughters. But what kinds of laws and customs
do women in this country continue to face that favor men over
women?
Chapter 11
- Who and what in your life is draining you, leaving you with
little to no energy to pursue your ambitions?
- When are you most afraid? Of what or of whom are you most afraid
right now?
- Where did you get notions of what you could and couldn't do,
should and shouldn't do?
- What do you know now about yourself that you didn't know, couldn't
have known, five (ten, fifteen) years ago?
- What people has God sent in your life to aid you in discerning
your vocation and recognizing your spiritual gifts?
- When did you first noticed the limited roles (compared to men)
women play in your local church?
- Tell about one of the most significant moments in your life
when you were convinced that God was using you to speak up on
behalf of some injustice? What was the reaction of those around
you?
Chapter 12
- Name a book that qualifies as Christian inspirational literature
and that you have read more than five times. What makes you keep
returning to that particular book?
- Name something you believe God has called you to do, but you
feel reluctant about stepping out and trying it?
- Name the hardest thing you've ever done for God, the thing you've
sacrificed most to achieve in your spiritual walk? How much did
they cost you?
- What in your estimation compelled the Queen of Sheba to go to
such great lenghts to meet King Solomon? Imagine you were Solomon,
what would be going through your mind as you came face to face
with this fiercely intelligent foreign woman?
- What have been some of your own prejudices about women and men
who are smarter, more intelligent, and more educated than yourself?
- Is it possible for women and men to work closely together and
not experience their feelings vacillating back and forth between
the erotic and the professional? How does one tame these feelings
and not let them trespass the boundaries you both know are for
your good?
- Can one be attentive to nourishing one's intellect and one's
mind without experiencing tensions and conflicts between these
two worlds of perceptions?
- Much distinction has been made between the mind and the spirit,
understanding and faith, secular education and religious education.
How have these distinctions played themselves out in our attitudes
as Christians toward learning and thinking, toward the education
of women?
Chapter 13
- Describe your relationship with your father.
- How have your memories of and relationship with your father
affected your understanding of God as a Father figure?
- Identify those areas in your father's legacy to you that are
affecting your mental, spiritual, and physical health, for better
and for worse?
- What message would you like most to hear from your father?
- Based on this chapter on Achsah's relationship with her father,
what healing message could you give your daughter (granddaughter,
niece, sister, god-daughter) about her relationship with her father?
- What message would you like most to say to your father? Write
him a letter right now.
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