Walk Worthy Press: Choose Me by Xenia Ruiz

Reading Group Questions:

The following list of questions is designed to enhance a group or individual's thinking about or discussing some of the issues we hope you will consider after reading this book. This is designed as a starting point only and is not meant to limit the discussion.

Prologue

What does love mean to you at this stage in your life?

Chapter 1

Eva catches a lot of ribbing and criticism from her girls about her vow of celibacy. What do you think about Simone's argument that sex is a "basic human right" that need not have anything to do with love? What do you think Scripture says to that idea?

Chapter 2

Adam reflects on how the double scares of an STD and cancer pushed him away from sex and toward God—at least temporarily. What frightening or otherwise negative experiences have turned you (or someone you know) toward God? Why?

Chapter 3

Do you want a man in your life—or does it feel more like a need? Why or why not? If you already have a man, what are the pros and cons of that reality?

Chapter 4

Both Eva and Adam reflect on the influence of their fathers on their lives. How has your father affected you—by his presence or absence, for better or worse? (This might include stepfather, foster father, adoptive father, father-figure, or your mother's significant other.) How does your relationship with a heavenly Father affect your earthly father's influence?

Chapter 5

We read about Eva and Adam's first meeting through her eyes, getting her first impressions of him. Compare what you have learned about Adam in previous chapters with Eva's impressions. How does God's caution in 1 Samuel 16:7 caution us about snap judgments?

Chapter 6

What do you think about Adam's assessment of the shifting balance of power between women and men? True or false? Why? How do you respond to the dynamic of power in male-female relationships?

Chapter 7

Affirmative action is clearly an important issue to both Adam and Eva. How about you? Are you for or against? Why or why not? What might Scripture say to either side of the issue?

Chapter 8

What do you look for in a church? What role, if any, does the prayer life or preaching style of the leadership play in your assessment of a particular church?

Chapter 9

Consider Paul's words in 1 Corinthians 7. What is good about marriage? What is problematic, which might inspire the apostle's cautions concerning it?

Chapter 10

Adam draws an analogy between cancer and hatred and considers how he has found nothing comparable to chemo or radiation to put the hate into remission. What has been your experience with hatred? What "cure" have you found for its malignant effects? (See Proverbs 10:12; 1 Peter 4:8.)

Chapter 11

The poem "Choose Me" is actually an invitation/exhortation from God, but it beckons romantically as well. How is God's love for us like the romantic love between a man and woman? (See Song of Songs for a biblical example!)

Chapter 12

" [Rashid] says skin color and language and religion are all manmade things created to keep us from concentrating on what's really important—God." Do you agree or disagree? To what extent, and why?

Chapter 13

" If a relationship doesn't lead to marriage," Eva reflects, "what is the purpose of being together?" How would you answer that question? What experience have you had with relationships (sexual or celibate) that don't lead to marriage?

Chapter 14

Eva tells Adam that salvation really is as simple as believing in Jesus and escaping from hell. She quotes John 3:16 as support. Do you think salvation is really that simple? Why or why not? What does salvation mean to you?

Chapter 15

Was Eva's decision right or wrong and why? How do you make your decision regarding relationships? What Scriptures or other principles guide you?

Chapter 16

" I'm tired of being everyone's therapist," Eva announced. She doesn't want to have to be the strong one all the time. When have you felt that way? How do you handle the feeling?

Chapter 17

Before she got saved, Eva relied on her own strength to get through—and she managed just fine. Now she feels like she's looking for answers from anyone and everyone else—particularly when God's voice seems silent or too quiet to discern. In what ways has becoming a Christian made life harder and not easier for you? Where does your strength come from?

Chapter 18

What experience have you had with "celibate" dating? How do you handle temptation and desire and just plain physical attraction? What Scriptures encourage, convict, or otherwise influence you in this area?

Chapter 19

How do you distinguish between a good man and a godly man? How would you define a "good" man? How would you define a "godly" one? Is it possible to be one and not the other? Why or why not? Which seem to be more scarce to you?

Chapter 20

Why do you think Eva "gave in" and had intercourse with Adam? Why have you—or other women you know—given in? How do you get past that choice once is it made?

Chapter 21

" If you stray from the prize, if you choose their lies, I will take what I have given to you…" the poem declares in God's voice. Do you accept or reject that characterization of God? Why? In what ways is it a biblical image of God? How do you wrestle with such perceptions or depictions of God?

Chapter 22

Mrs. Black was alluding to Matthew 6:26 when she pointed out the birds to young Adam. How have you embraced that assurance when facing difficult situations such as Eva and Adam's (e.g., child on life support, long weeks or months of chemo for recurring cancer)?

Chapter 23

Why did Tony die? How do you answer that kind of question—for yourself or for someone else? How does your faith help you deal with the question—and the possible answers?

Chapter 24

Answer Adam's questions. When is the right time to come to God? What is the right reason?

Chapter 25

" You have to know what you want before you ask for it," Eva has cautioned. After all, you might just get what you ask for! How does that advice relate to the biblical exhortation in James 4:2-3?

Chapter 26

Adam acknowledges that he still harbors fear concerning his upcoming surgery. "It [fear] was how God kept us on our toes," he thinks. Do you agree or disagree? How does your experience prove or disprove the theory? How does that kind of fear compare with the fear described in 2 Timothy 1:7?

Chapter 27

What did (or do) you expect from marriage? How did (or do) you expect to work out the issues and challenges of married life? How do biblical principles influence you in such relational issues?

Chapter 28

Both Adam and Eva take the steps toward marriage very cautiously. Pastor Zeke urges Eva not to confuse marriage in its worldly context with the covenant relationship God intended. How would you describe marriage in the world's terms versus marriage in God's terms? What does marriage mean to you? (See Genesis 2:18,21-24; Ecclesiastes 4:9; Song of Songs; 1 Corinthians 7:1-9; 1 Corinthians 13, etc.)