Reading Group Questions
The following list of questions is designed to
enhance a group or individual's thinking
about or discussing some of the issues we hope you will consider
after reading this book. This is
designed as a starting point only and is not meant to limit the
discussion.
KYLA
- What does Kyla's long-term friendship with an unsaved person
like Jasmine reveal about how believers should handle close relationships
with unbelievers? Also consider: Is it realistic to expect to
have an unbeliever as one of our closest friends? Is it advisable
to cultivate or maintain relationships with people who do not
believe as we do hoping that we may influence them to make a
decision for Christ some day? Read 2 Corinthians 6:14-15.
- Other women envied Kyla because they perceived her to have
the perfect life. Kyla longed for an opportunity to define herself
beyond the roles of wife and mother. Are feelings of longing
like those Kyla confessed to Alexis merely an expression of a
Western push to "have it all" or can such longings
be divinely planted to inspire believers to accomplish more for
the sake of the Kingdom? Read Deuteronomy 5:21; Job 7:2-3; Proverbs 13:12-19.
- Given Jefferson's opinion about his wife getting a job, did
Kyla's desire for a career denote a lack of sensitivity to her
husband? Read 1 Peter 3:1-6.
- How should Christian women who are able to function as full-time
homemakers interpret a sense of longing to do more than be a
wife and mother? Read Genesis 3:16.
- What, if any, warning signs did Kyla ignore concerning Jasmine's
intentions toward Jefferson? Read Matthew 10:16. Why do we sometimes ignore
warnings that a friend or loved one might betray us? Read Judges 16:6-20. How can we discern such cues
to know when they warn of imminent danger? When are we are allowing
fear and insecurity to rule? Read 1 John 4:18.
- Despite her anger and hurt, Kyla knew that she needed to turn
to God's Word for an answer. Why was it still difficult for her
to forgive Jefferson so that they could move beyond his adultery
and the damage done to their marriage? Read Hosea 14:1-2; Colossians 3:12-14.
- Kyla's discovery of Jefferson's infidelity made her afraid
to trust him again. How does Satan use fear to block us from
the kind of spiritual progress that Kyla would need to move from
hurt to restoration in her marriage. Read 2 Timothy 1:7.
- Kyla's friends, family and pastor advised her to forgive Jefferson
so the healing process could begin. Why is forgiveness such an
important factor in the healing and spiritual growth? Read Matthew 6:14-15.
PASTOR
FORD
- Kyla's pastor suggested that Kyla needed to release Jefferson
from her own judgment and focus on forgiveness and trust. How
does our own tendency to judge block us from being able to forgive?
Read Luke 6:37 ; Psalm 32:1.
- Pastor Ford reminded Kyla that forgiveness is a process that
sometimes requires a lifetime of work. How can we keep forgiveness
as a priority for healthy relationships and spiritual growth?
Read Luke 17:3.
JEFFERSON
- Jefferson realized all that he had jeopardized by sleeping
with Jasmine. Why do we often fail to recognize the fallacy of
our actions until we are faced with the consequences? Read Mark 8:18.
- How should Jefferson have handled Jasmine once he recognized
her blatant manipulations to seduce him and to gain entrance
to his home? Read Proverbs 6:25-26; Psalm 26:4. Why are believers sometimes deceived
into ignoring the warning bells that go off in our heads, like
the warning that Jefferson received? Read 1 Thessalonians 5:22; Proverbs 4:14-16.
- How could the enemy deceive Jefferson into seeing Jasmine
as innocent? Read John 8:44.
- Jefferson knew that he had received God's forgiveness for
his infidelity. How does the assurance of God's forgiveness help
us to move forward in repentance and healing? Read Isaiah 43:25; 1 John 1:9; Psalm 103:12.
ALEXIS
- Why do you think Alexis described Jasmine as a snake? Read Psalm 58:3-4.
- How does Alexis's commitment to the Lord regarding premarital
intercourse affirm every believer's obligation to obey God regardless
of the consequences? Read Proverbs 16:6; Acts 5:28-29 ; Hebrews 11:25.
- What kinds of steps should unmarrieds like Alexis and Brian
take to help them avoid temptations and compromising situations?
Read Matthew 26:41.
BRIAN
- Brian was renewing his relationship with the Lord. Recall
some of Brian's actions and feelings that reveal a lack of spiritual
growth. How did his associations with Alexis, Jefferson, and
Kyla help to strengthen his walk? Read 1 Thessalonians 5:14; 2 Timothy 2:22; James 5:20.
- How can Brian's philosophy "If you want the lady, you've
got to go along with the lady's rules," help strengthen
Christian women to remain virtuous? Read Proverbs 31:10,30.
- Brian had made plans for Alexis and perhaps thought that he
eventually would convince her to have sex with him before marriage.
Why do we behave as though our own plans for another person can
supersede God's plans for that person? Read Proverbs 16:3,9; Jeremiah 29:11.
JASMINE
- In what ways did Jasmine set herself up for unhappiness by
comparing her life and standard of living to Kyla's? How does
focusing on what we do not have create personal unhappiness and
make us more vulnerable to temptation? Read Ecclesiastes 5:10.
- Brian grew stronger through his association with Christian
friends. Why do you think Jasmine continued in her same ways
despite her exposure to a circle of strong Christian friends?
Read Jeremiah 7:24.
- Jasmine seemed to blame everyone else for her difficulties
and made others responsible for her happiness. Why do you think
she refused take responsibility for the consequences of her own
choices? Read Psalm 81:11-14.
- Jasmine's web of lies and deception spiraled as she sought
her prize; Jefferson. Read Proverbs 11:22. How do people become blinded
by lies, deception, twisted logic, and distorted truths as they
strive to gain what they desire? Read Psalm 10:2-7; Proverbs 14:8.
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