Reading
Group Questions:
The following list of questions is designed to
enhance a group or individual's thinking
about or discussing some of the issues we hope you will consider
after reading this book. This is
designed as a starting point only and is not meant to limit the
discussion.
Prologue
In his journey to fame and fortune, Jermaine had "discovered
the only person he could really trust was himself—which created
all sorts of problems once he began to forget just who that person
was." Do you see a certain irony in the contrast between Jermaine
and his Aunt Bell, caught in the fog of Alzheimer’s disease?
How is the source of their trust (and therefore, their hope) different?
(See Proverbs 3:5-6.) In whom do you place your trust?
Chapter 1
Candace had one room in her home that was a sanctuary, a place
where she did no work, a refuge from the world, "where she
could fully celebrate being a woman and taste savory fruits of
success." Everyone needs a space for sanctuary—in effect,
a Sabbath space. God established the Sabbath, a day of rest, when
he himself rested after creating the world (Genesis 2:1-2). Where
and when in your life have you created such a Sabbath—in
time and in space?
Chapter 2
The friendship Jermaine had had with Eric and Ronny had been incredibly
precious and rare, especially among men. Do you have that kind
of relationship with anyone in your life—past or present?
With whom? What makes that friendship so valuable? Scripture describes
two such friendships: in 1 Samuel 20 and in the Book of Ruth. (Also
see Proverbs 17:17; 27:6,17; Ecclesiastes 4:7-12; John 15:12-13.)
Chapter
3
Publishing Song of Solomon was a dream come true for Myra, a dream
she had birthed two decades earlier while still in college. What’s
your dream? How long have you been harboring it? What steps, if
any, have you taken to make it come true? Share your dream—and
write it down (Habakkuk 2:2-3). And, as God leads, plot out the
next steps in bringing that vision to pass.
Chapter 4
What do you think of Ambrose at this point in the story? Is he
a prophet? a fanatic? socially or criminally insane? He thinks
of himself as a modern-day John the Baptist. Check out Luke 3:1-20
and do your own comparison study.
Chapter 5
Jermaine views Mario’s expressions of concern as being motivated
more by business than personal reasons. What do you think? Do you
have people in your life like Mario—whose motives in the
relationship are suspect? How do you interact with them? What does
Scripture advise in such situations? (See Proverbs 19:4,6; 20:6;
Matthew 7:6, 15-20; 10:16.)
Chapter 6
"
It’s not a good idea to start a relationship with a guy you
practically keep on a pedestal…. So when Prince Charming
turns out to be less than perfect, you’re staring at a serious
wake-up call," Candi warns Tasha. Do you agree or disagree?
Why? How can we approach our relationships realistically, while
still leaving room for the romance?
Chapter 7
Jermaine knew that his image, his message, his whole life was a
mirage…an illusion. He was the premiere motivational speaker
in the country, and he had difficulty motivating himself to get
up each day. In fact, he was seriously and creatively contemplating
suicide. He knew himself to be a fraud, but he continued the performance.
Why? Why do any of us daily don our masks, even recognizing them
for what they are? What keeps us from being real—and asking
for the help we desperately need (Proverbs 14:12)?
Chapter 8
A question-and-answer game… Ambrose poised himself for it
in his session with his psychologist. Candace and Jermaine positioned
themselves for it in their initial meeting. We do it in job interviews,
on first dates, and in small talk at social gatherings. How do
you engage in such "games"? How does your position going
into the game determine what you get out of it? (Scripture records
a variety of occasions when Jesus engaged at different levels in
the game. See Mark 2:18–3:6; 10:17-27; 11:27-33; 12:13-37.)
Chapter
9
Candace always opened an interview with the same two questions
because she knew they caught people off-guard—and revealed
a lot about them. Answer those two questions yourself: What is
your favorite book (and why)? What is the last book you read, and
why did you choose it?
Chapter 10
Aunt Bell continues to intercede tirelessly for Jermaine, claiming
the scriptural promise in Proverbs 22:6. What does that Scripture
mean to you—as the child of your own parents or guardian
and as a parent (or parent-figure) to other children? How have
you experienced its fulfillment?
Chapter 11
What would it look like for you to find someone with whom you "connect
on every level"? (See Genesis 2:18-25.) Is that person out
there—or have you already found him? Do you believe in love-at-first-sight…soul
mates…that sort of thing? Why or why not?
Chapter 12
Jermaine shared his "most embarrassing moment" story,
identifying the lesson he learned from the experience: "Sometimes
it’s better to be heard and not seen." Do you agree
or disagree? Why? In what situations is being heard better? In
what situations might being seen be better?
Chapter 13
Unbeknownst to Jermaine, while he was wrestling with depression
and suicidal thoughts on the inside, Chantal and Spike were plotting
an attack from the outside. Have you ever had days, weeks, months,
even years like that…when you feel embattled from within
and without? Have you ever felt the struggle of life and death
within your own spirit? Paul did. Read 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 for
his response to such feelings.
Chapter 14
Candace tells Jermaine that getting married is the highlight of
every woman’s life. Do you agree or disagree? Why? If you
disagree, what do you think is (or should be) the highlight? Then,
Jermaine tells Candi that the secret to winning any woman’s
heart is the ability to make her laugh. Agree or disagree? Why?
What’s the secret to winning your heart?
Chapter 15
Jermaine was adamant about declining the latest lucrative guest
appearance—because it interfered with his plans to be with
Candi. Do you think he was learning that money isn’t everything?
Why or why not? (See Proverbs 23:4-5; Matthew 6:24; and 1 Timothy
6:6-10,17-19 for scriptural insights about wealth.)
Chapter 16
Ask yourself Jermaine’s motivational question, "What
is the big-time, exactly?" In other words, how do you define
success? How does God define it? See Proverbs 3:1-18; Matthew 5:1-12;
Luke 12:13-21; and 1 Corinthians 13.
Chapter 17
Jermaine and Candi almost make love together—but she finally
calls a halt. Why? Did she do the right thing? Why or why not?
If so, did she do it for the right reasons?
Chapter 18
Jermaine is absolutely devastated by what he interprets as Candace’s
rejection. It seems to underscore every other rejection or abandonment
he has suffered in life. When you are feeling abandoned, rejected,
and alone, where do you go and to whom do you turn? Consider opening
your Bible to these passages: Psalm 40, 42, 46, 121, 130; Romans
8:26-28.
Chapter 19
Myra had staked her dream on this feature interview between Candace
and Jermaine—and now it appeared that the golden opportunity
had turned to lead. Even as Xavier prayed, Myra’s mind raced
with worries, plans, and strong emotions. When have you faced a
comparable situation? How did you respond? How would Scripture
advise us? (See Psalm 46 and John 14:27.)
Chapter 20
How did the abrupt swarm of paparazzi serve as an answer to Aunt
Bell’s prayer? When has an apparently negative incident in
your life proved to be your salvation in the long run?
Chapter 21
The relationship between Jermaine’s suicidal urges and his
sanity has been questioned repeatedly throughout the story. Now
that he has actually made an attempt on his life, the question
is finally called: What do you think? Is Jermaine crazy? Explain.
Chapter
22
In the aftermath of Jermaine’s suicide attempt and the tabloid
exposé, Myra was dealing with "an epic faith crisis," in
God and in herself. Xavier counseled her to take heart, that "sometimes
God allows trying situations to best his children so their faith
might be established and strengthened." Paul offers much the
same reassurance in Romans 5:3-5; so does James in James 1:2-4.
How have you experienced the harvest of good fruit from trying
times?
Chapter 23
Ambrose tells Jermaine that listening and hearing are two quite
different things. What’s the difference? How does James’s
exhortation in James 1:22-25 illustrate the principle Ambrose is
hinting at?
Chapter 24
Jermaine is tormented by a recurring dream. It is powerful and
terrifying to him. You can guess that it has spiritual significance
in his life. What do you think it means? Have you ever had a
recurring dream of that caliber, one that you suspect is God
trying to get
your attention? How do you respond to such dreams?
Chapter 25
Jermaine once declared the secret to happiness and success is to "do
what you love and love what you do." Ambrose now observes
that "what you do is not who you are." If you really
love what you do, however, it is easy to start equating that doing
with your being. We do it casually when we answer the question "Who
are you?" with a relational or vocational response, instead
of with our name (e.g., "I’m Ryan’s mom" or "I’m
An entrepreneur or a minister"). How do you balance the two
truisms in your own life—both in your relationships (whom
you love) and in your vocation (what you love)?
Chapter 26
For Candace, returning to church was like coming home. Have you
ever experienced that feeling—the unconditional love and
willing forgiveness of the Holy Spirit—or even just the warm
embrace of sisters and brothers in Christ after an absence from
your home congregation? Read Jesus’ parable about the prodigal
(in Luke 15:11-32) through Candi’s eyes—and walking
that long road home yourself in the prodigal’s shoes.
Chapter
27
Jermaine is finally beginning to understand his dream—and
the suffocating sensation of being unable to breathe. He is making
the connection between the etymological meaning of the word inspire
and the word breath. They are the same (e.g., respiratory disease
refers to breathing disorders). How have you experienced the relationship
between the two—inspiration and breath? Check out the familiar
story in Ezekiel 37 for a powerful illustration of the connection
between breath, spirit, life, and inspiration.
Chapter 28
Jermaine’s call to Aunt Bell with news of his saving encounter
with Jesus was balm to her soul. How do you think his confession
of faith to the woman who raised him affected Jermaine? Talk about
the power of your testimony—to those who hear it (saved and
unsaved) and to you yourself. What does Scripture say about that
dynamic? (See Romans 1:16-17; 10:9-10; Revelation 12:10-12.)
Chapter
29
Ambrose cites 2 Timothy 1:6-7 as he discipled Jermaine in a discovery
of God’s call on his life. What gifts are hidden in you,
placed there by the laying on of hands (or any other inspired impartation)?
How can you stir them up and use them for God? (Read also 2 Timothy
3:14–4:5.)
Chapter 30
Jermaine told Mario he wasn’t religious. He just had a relationship
with Jesus. What’s the difference? How does a relationship
with Christ change us in a way that religion doesn’t? How
has his new faith changed Jermaine?
Chapter 31
How did Jermaine’s interview with Chantal powerfully (and
humorously!) illustration the truth in Paul’s assurance in
Romans 8:26-27? How have you experienced such mediation and intercession
on your behalf on the part of the Holy Spirit?
Chapter 32
Did Jermaine’s decision to remain on the motivational speaking
circuit surprise you? Why or why not? Sometimes, in the church,
we assume a person with a gift for speaking and inspiring people
should go into church or parachurch ministry—as Mario put
it, in the style of Billy Graham or TD Jakes. Should our most gifted
speakers all end up behind a pulpit of some kind? Why or why not?
(Read Romans 12:3-8; Ephesians 4:7,11-13.)
Chapter 33
Candi encouraged Jermaine to find a good home church and people
to hold him accountable and disciple him in his growth and maturity
as a Christian man. Do you have a faith community and people in
your life who can do that for you? Why or why not? If you are going
through these questions in a small group, how can the members be
that for one another—giving and receiving?
Epilogue
Jermaine and Candace had discovered in each other their own Ms.
and Mr. Right. And, at their wedding, they spoke vows they had
written themselves. If you find Mr. Right what original vows
will you speak on your future wedding day? What is it you are
willing
to promise?
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